this hit me like a load of fucking bricks.
i had to do an english speak and i chose the topic of self recognition and appreciation and i used his speech as an example and half the class cried
Communism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and gives you some milk.
Fascism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and sells you some milk.
Nazism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and shoots you.
Bureaucratism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both, shoots one, milks the other and throws the milk away..
Traditional Capitalism: You have 2 cows. You sell one and buy a bull. You herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.
An American Corporation: You have 2 cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow dropped dead.
A French Corporation: You have 2 cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.
Japanese Corporation: You have 2 cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called Cowkimon and market them Worldwide.
An Italian Corporation: You have 2 cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.
A Swiss Corporation: You have 5000 cows. None of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.
Chinese Corporation: You have 2 cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.
An Iraqi Corporation: Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you have none. No one believes you and they bomb your arse. You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy.......
Counter Culture: 'Wow, dig it, like there's these 2 cows, man, grazing in the hemp field. You gotta have some of this milk!'
Surrealism: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
Apathyologism: You have 2 cows. You do not care.
Fatalist: You have 2 doomed cows...
Atheism: You have 2 cows. There is no God.
A West-Country Corporation: You have 2 cows. That one on the left is kinda cute.
A Brazilian Corporation: You have 2 cows. You pay taxes for 6 cows. You have to sell one cow in order to pay the taxes. Your remaining cow gets sick and dies while waiting for availability in the public vet hospital.
Russia: You have two cows. Since they are both female, if you happen to keep them in the same stable you will pay a 5,000 rouble fine for homosexual propaganda.
PETA: You have two cows. You kill them both. You then use naked women to convince other people that killing cows is wrong.
Moffat: You have two cows. Both of them are your daughters time traveling from the past where they had a brief love affair with Da Vinci making you the rightful Queen of England. As you assume the throne, you throw them off a building.
Hussie: You have 2 cows. You ask for another one. Instead of getting just 1 cow, you get 2,485,506 cows.
Romney: You have 2 cows. You are not the president of the united states.
Once-ler: You have 1 cow. Everyone decides to make 5 different versions of that cow.
Old Spice: You have 2 cows. The cows are now diamonds. I'm on a horse.
An Irish Corporation: You have a million cows because they're everywhere
Tumblr: You have 2 cows. You ship them together and make GIF posts screaming about how much you love your cows, but they should stop existing because they are so perfect.
Also Tumblr: I give you a hamburger.
Cows: The shit you go through.
This post: Started off as a post that explained different goverments but then everything changed when the fire nation attacked
My childhood in one picture
An East German soldier helping a boy cross the newly formed ‘Berlin Wall,’ 1961.
From what is known, the photograph was taken the day the emerging Wall was put up in August 1961 and the boy was found on the opposite side of the wall from his family. Despite given orders by the East German government to let no one pass, the soldier helped the boy through the barbwire. Near the exact time this photo was taken, it was said that the soldier was seen by his superior officer who immediately detached the soldier from his unit.
Concerning the fate of the soldier, most descriptions that come with photograph say that “no one knows what became of him.”
one of my favorite posts
They say depression and intelligence go hand in hand, well this is Einstein and his therapist.
this breaks my heart
i reblog this every time because i think its an honest reminder of just how human everyone is plus he looks damn adorable
yes sadness is adorable
Omfg I Can’t Cope.
Right, so I had a bit of a moment at Gillian Anderson.
This picture is in time with the average heart rate. What you’re hearing is the sound of your blood pumping, which you aren’t normally aware of. This picture tricks your mind into making yourself aware of your heart rate, so you hear it.
This is insane
His obnoxious brother…………………. Please Gogh
His dizzy aunt ………………………. Verti Gogh
The brother who ate prunes………..Gotta Gogh
The constipated uncle …………………..Can’t Gogh
The brother who worked at
a convenience store. ………….StopnGogh
The grandfather from Yugoslavia………….. …….UGogh
The brother who bleached his clothes white………Hue Gogh
The cousin from Illinois……………………Chica Gogh
His magician uncle……………………..WherediddyGogh
His Mexican cousin…………………………..AmeeGogh
The Mexican cousin’s American half brother………GrinGogh
The ballroom dancing aunt………………………TanGogh
A sister who loved disco……………………….Go Gogh
The nephew who drove a stage coach …………..WellsfarGogh
The bird lover uncle……………………..Flamin Gogh
His nephew psychoanalyst……………………….E Gogh
The fruit loving cousin………………………..ManGogh
An aunt who taught positive thinking…………..WaytoGogh
The little bouncy nephew………………….Poe Gogh
And his niece who travels the country in a van….WinnieBayGogh
watch your fav disney movies :’D (will be redirected after 10-15 seconds)
1937 - Snow White and the Seven Dwarves
1940 - Fantasia
1940 - Pinocchio
1941 - Dumbo
1941 - The Reluctant Dragon
1942 - Bambi
1942 - Saludos Amigos
1943 - Victory Through Air Power
1945 - The Three Caballeros
1946 - Make Mine Music
1946 - Song of the South
1947 - Fun and Fancy Free
1948 - Melody Time
1949 - The Adventures Of Ichabod and Mr. Toad
1950 - Cinderella
1951 - Alice in Wonderland
1953 - Peter Pan
1954 - 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea
1955 - Lady and the Tramp
1957 - Old Yeller
1959 - Darby O’Gill and the Little People
1959 - Sleeping Beauty
1960 - Swiss Family Robinson
1961 - 101 Dalmatians
1963 - The Sword in the Stone
1964 - Mary Poppins
1965 - That Darn Cat
1967 - The Jungle Book
1968 - The Love Bug
1970 - The Aristocats
1971 - Bedknobs and Broomsticks
1971 - The Million Dollar Duck
1973 - Robin Hood
1974 - Herbie Rides Again
1977 - Pete’s Dragon
1977 - The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh
1977 - The Rescuers
1981 - The Fox and the Hound
1982 - A Disney Christmas Gift
1985 - The Black Cauldron
1986 - The Great Mouse Detective
1988 - Oliver & Company
1988 - Who Framed Roger Rabbit
1989 - The Little Mermaid
1990 - Ducktales The Movie - Treasure of the Lost Lamp
1990 - The Rescuers Down Under
1991 - Beauty and the Beast
1993 - The Nightmare Before Christmas
1994 - Aladdin -The Return of Jafar
1994 - Aladdin
1994 - The Lion King
1995 - A Goofy Movie
1995 - Pocahontas
1995 - Toy Story
1996 - Aladdin and the King of Thieves
1996 - James and the Giant Peach
1996 - The Hunchback of Notre Dame
1997 - Beauty and the Beast - The Enchanted Christmas
1997 - Hercules
1997 - Winnie The Pooh’s Most Grand Adventure
1998 - A Bug’s Life
1998 - Belle’s Magical World
1998 - Mulan
1998 - Pocahontas II - Journey to a New World
1998 - The Lion King 2 - Simba’s Pride
1999 - Mickey’s Once Upon A Christmas
1999 - Tarzan
1999 - Toy Story 2
1999 - Winnie The Pooh-Seasons of Giving
2000 - An Extremely Goofy Movie
2000 - Buzz Lightyear Of Star Command, The Adventure Begins
2000 - Dinosaur
2000 - Fantasia 2000
2000 - The Emperor’s New Groove
2000 - The Little Mermaid 2-Return to the Sea
2000 - The Tigger Movie
2001 - Atlantis The Lost Empire
2001 - Lady And The Tramp II - Scamp’s Adventure
2001 - Mickey’s Magical Christmas-Snowed In at the House of Mouse
2001 - Monsters, Inc.
2002 - Cinderella II - Dreams Come True
2002 - Lilo And Stitch
2002 - Mickey’s House of Mouse - The Villains
2002 - Return to Never Land
2002 - Tarzan & Jane
2002 - The Hunchback of Notre Dame II
2002 - Treasure Planet
2002 - Winnie the Pooh-A Very Merry Pooh Year
2003 - 101 Dalmatians 2 - Patch’s London Adventure
2003 - Atlantis 2 Milo’s Return
2003 - Brother Bear
2003 - Finding Nemo
2003 - Kim Possible - A Stitch In Time
2003 - Piglet’s Big Movie
2003 - Stitch! The Movie
2003 - The Jungle Book 2
2004 - Home On The Range
2004 - Kim Possible - The Villain Files
2004 - Mickey Donald Goofy-The Three Musketeers
2004 - Mickeys Twice Upon a Christmas
2004 - The Incredibles
2004 - The Lion King 1-1.5 - Hakuna Matata
2004 - Winnie the Pooh - Springtime With Roo
2005 - Chicken Little
2005 - Disney’s Christmas Favourites
2005 - Kim Possible - So The Drama
2005 - Kronk’s New Groove
2005 - Lilo and Stitch 2 - Stitch has a Glitch
2005 - Pooh’s Heffalump Movie
2005 - Tarzan II
2006 - Bambi II
2006 - Brother Bear 2
2006 - Cars
2006 - Leroy & Stitch
2006 - The Fox and the Hound 2
2007 - Cinderella III - A Twist in Time
2007 - Disney Princess Enchanted Tales - Follow Your Dreams
2007 - Enchanted
2007 - Meet The Robinsons
2008 - Bolt
2008 - The Little Mermaid - Ariel’s Beginning
2008 - Tinker Bell
2008 - Wall-E
did i just die and go to heaven?
im sure ill need this sooner or later
all my favorite old movies! hopefully they’ll get 2009-2012 soon :’)
brings back memories :)
From Megan, 11/20/13 9:24 PM
you know what.
- warning: foul language ahead -
fuck the haters. fuck what people think. all you should think about is the positive. the people that support you. the people that enjoy your work. so what? there will be that one person, or maybe even 2 that will not like what youre doing. flip your curls and show them the finger. when someone sends you hate, they are just jealous of you. you, leo, are a boy, filipino version of beyonce.
do your thing and run over the negative people with your army of unicorns.
ur gucci; don’t let anyone tell you different.
‘Harry Potter’ Book Covers Recreated As Minimalistic Mesmerizing GIFs
by designer and illustrator Jace Martinez
You were on your way home when you died.
It was a car accident. Nothing particularly remarkable, but fatal nonetheless. You left behind a wife and two children. It was a painless death. The EMTs tried their best to save you, but to no avail. Your body was so utterly shattered you were better off, trust me.
And that’s when you met me.
“What… what happened?” You asked. “Where am I?”
“You died,” I said, matter-of-factly. No point in mincing words.
“There was a… a truck and it was skidding…”
“Yup,” I said.
“I… I died?”
“Yup. But don’t feel bad about it. Everyone dies,” I said.
You looked around. There was nothingness. Just you and me. “What is this place?” You asked. “Is this the afterlife?”
“More or less,” I said.
“Are you god?” You asked.
“Yup,” I replied. “I’m God.”
“My kids… my wife,” you said.
“What about them?”
“Will they be all right?”
“That’s what I like to see,” I said. “You just died and your main concern is for your family. That’s good stuff right there.”
You looked at me with fascination. To you, I didn’t look like God. I just looked like some man. Or possibly a woman. Some vague authority figure, maybe. More of a grammar school teacher than the almighty.
“Don’t worry,” I said. “They’ll be fine. Your kids will remember you as perfect in every way. They didn’t have time to grow contempt for you. Your wife will cry on the outside, but will be secretly relieved. To be fair, your marriage was falling apart. If it’s any consolation, she’ll feel very guilty for feeling relieved.”
“Oh,” you said. “So what happens now? Do I go to heaven or hell or something?”
“Neither,” I said. “You’ll be reincarnated.”
“Ah,” you said. “So the Hindus were right,”
“All religions are right in their own way,” I said. “Walk with me.”
You followed along as we strode through the void. “Where are we going?”
“Nowhere in particular,” I said. “It’s just nice to walk while we talk.”
“So what’s the point, then?” You asked. “When I get reborn, I’ll just be a blank slate, right? A baby. So all my experiences and everything I did in this life won’t matter.”
“Not so!” I said. “You have within you all the knowledge and experiences of all your past lives. You just don’t remember them right now.”
I stopped walking and took you by the shoulders. “Your soul is more magnificent, beautiful, and gigantic than you can possibly imagine. A human mind can only contain a tiny fraction of what you are. It’s like sticking your finger in a glass of water to see if it’s hot or cold. You put a tiny part of yourself into the vessel, and when you bring it back out, you’ve gained all the experiences it had.
“You’ve been in a human for the last 48 years, so you haven’t stretched out yet and felt the rest of your immense consciousness. If we hung out here for long enough, you’d start remembering everything. But there’s no point to doing that between each life.”
“How many times have I been reincarnated, then?”
“Oh lots. Lots and lots. An in to lots of different lives.” I said. “This time around, you’ll be a Chinese peasant girl in 540 AD.”
“Wait, what?” You stammered. “You’re sending me back in time?”
“Well, I guess technically. Time, as you know it, only exists in your universe. Things are different where I come from.”
“Where you come from?” You said.
“Oh sure,” I explained “I come from somewhere. Somewhere else. And there are others like me. I know you’ll want to know what it’s like there, but honestly you wouldn’t understand.”
“Oh,” you said, a little let down. “But wait. If I get reincarnated to other places in time, I could have interacted with myself at some point.”
“Sure. Happens all the time. And with both lives only aware of their own lifespan you don’t even know it’s happening.”
“So what’s the point of it all?”
“Seriously?” I asked. “Seriously? You’re asking me for the meaning of life? Isn’t that a little stereotypical?”
“Well it’s a reasonable question,” you persisted.
I looked you in the eye. “The meaning of life, the reason I made this whole universe, is for you to mature.”
“You mean mankind? You want us to mature?”
“No, just you. I made this whole universe for you. With each new life you grow and mature and become a larger and greater intellect.”
“Just me? What about everyone else?”
“There is no one else,” I said. “In this universe, there’s just you and me.”
You stared blankly at me. “But all the people on earth…”
“All you. Different incarnations of you.”
“Wait. I’m everyone!?”
“Now you’re getting it,” I said, with a congratulatory slap on the back.
“I’m every human being who ever lived?”
“Or who will ever live, yes.”
“I’m Abraham Lincoln?”
“And you’re John Wilkes Booth, too,” I added.
“I’m Hitler?” You said, appalled.
“And you’re the millions he killed.”
“And you’re everyone who followed him.”
You fell silent.
“Every time you victimized someone,” I said, “you were victimizing yourself. Every act of kindness you’ve done, you’ve done to yourself. Every happy and sad moment ever experienced by any human was, or will be, experienced by you.”
You thought for a long time.
“Why?” You asked me. “Why do all this?”
“Because someday, you will become like me. Because that’s what you are. You’re one of my kind. You’re my child.”
“Whoa,” you said, incredulous. “You mean I’m a god?”
“No. Not yet. You’re a fetus. You’re still growing. Once you’ve lived every human life throughout all time, you will have grown enough to be born.”
“So the whole universe,” you said, “it’s just…”
“An egg.” I answered. “Now it’s time for you to move on to your next life.”
And I sent you on your way.
yesss i found it again! one of my all time favourite reads.
Philosophy went to the max right here
OI SCROLL BACK UP AND READ ALL OF IT!
I was really intrigued by this
I DON’T THINK YOU FUCKING UNDERSTAND JUST HOW ABSOLUTELY BONKERS SLEEPING IS. WE JUST FINISHED THE SLEEP SECTION IN PSYCH AND OH MY GOD MY HEAD IS EXPLODING.